The Vanishing act


It is often that I find myself in situations where the stated and the intended are diversely opposite. Confused and/or irritated I try to find a conclusion in hope of finding a logical end. Now and again ending in a state of settled and deliberate anger which is a reaction to the perceived deliberate harm or unfair treatment to me. I usually retort to communicating negative sentiments to redress my grievances. However in the lack of an outlet for expression the situation at times becomes disturbing, consequences more often than not devastating.

Against wrath his help shall be,
if he has grace in heart to see,
how angels, should his anger rise,
flee fast from him and go
and demons run to him in haste;
hell’s fury burns his heart
and makes him so hot and high
that none may stand him nigh”

This was what comes. What vanishes is the love and respect between two angry people; though momentarily. The love even though infinite becomes meaningless between seconds. Given my thoughtful or rather over thoughtful nature i tried to find ways of not being angry.An approach which will always work. Talks, Yoga, Meditation, Medication and other each careful mental path fed me void. And then I caught a glimpse of something. A parallel universe – a way things could have been. An alternate reality where that love and happiness were mine to keep, a place where I didn’t have to let them go.

“Two” happy people where anger had just vanished.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”



कभी जो मेरी आँखों ने,
वो ख्वाब देखे होंगे
कभी जो कोई सपने ने,
जीने की वजह दी होगी
किसी किश्ती पे बैठा हूँ,
सुबह के इंतज़ार म़ें
शाम ढल जाने को है,
किनारों का पता नहीं
ओ माँझी, तेरी नाव में,
भरोसा भी तो तेरा है
ऐ सागर, तेरी लहरों ने,
हमें कुछ तो सिखाया है
आँसू हैं इन आँखों में,
जरा सी उखड़ी साँसें है
ख़ुशी से डूब जाऊंगा,
या दरिया तैर जाऊंगा

The Sleeping Princess


It was extremely quiet. The winds decided to blow as gently as they can, not wanting to make any sound and still comforting. The light was dim, calm in the moonlight. There was water nearby moving slowly producing the lullaby.


Her Eyebrows were black, slightly raised. Eyes Gently closed as a shell still glowing and making their presence felt. Her head rested on her hand gently curled alongside her body. Her slow breath causing the title me to slow down. There was immense calmness over her face. Peace. Light radiating off her skin. She was wearing a Maroon gown which was flowing through her body.

Suddenly a soft smile passed over her lips, probably a dream or a sweet memory. Very slowly it traversed the distance between her lips finally reaching to her eyebrows through her eyes.

The Princess was sleeping.

The Girl with the Sparkling Eyes


I have been no stranger to love. Like almost everyone else I had fallen for Girl(s). And, again like everyone realized that there is more to it that we possibly understand. Sometimes its hard sometimes humbling.

On the Surface, She was the embodiment of every guys dream, slender, tall, well dressed, lady like and not to mention the wit to joke. She was Tamanna, an old friend long lost but never really forgotten. She had this laugh.. I can still hear it sometimes.

I had lost the desire to look into a girl’s eyes, talk and fell the warmth that radiates. It was this fact that I realized made me shy. I have tried never to deny myself of truth or confessions in life as they offer a pure joy that that one seldom gets. Why I was denying now ? I had no idea!

It was in one of those brief burst of light I saw them. There was the cutest of smile humanly possible, The eyes however deceived her. When I looked into them the facade faltered, the smile slowly and finally fading; Revealing a glimpse of sadness hiding behind them. Then Mercifully Darkness. I could no longer look.

I tried hard to not understand but it was unavoidable. The redness in those eyes made me sad. I didn’t liked the thin line between right and wrong then. Forgot that there was a need to a “why”- it would have made no difference; Rather a “how”, hoping the smile to return. Suddenly feeling so small and helpless almost short of words.

Desire, A little Rain, A gentle Breeze, Few Flowers and a walk to remember was something I wanted to thank god for then. She smiled; on her own probably. I had to leave. Time allowed is not always enough.


That immense madness, that positive aura and the ever enchanting smile was something persistent and to which I had lost my heart. How, I have no idea. It was like an old mask; always intended to smile. What hides beneath; I just hope I someday know.That strange euphoric feeling of knowing someone who is so perfect and spellbinding was shadowing over me. Probably an emotion not felt in a long time. Longer than I can remember. What I do remember is my old chuckle; I used to have it lost it somewhere. I couldn’t help smiling seeing that back. I was along, there was no reason, there was no art, no music but I was singing. I was smiling.

After the happiness faded and I looked for the reason(silly of me); I remembered those pale red eyes. I couldn’t sleep. A sad thought haunting me. I wanted to do something,  anything. Helpless.

I prayed. I never ask anything for myself(stopped doing it years ago).Now, However I did. Too selfish to keep the sadness inside; I prayed for the sparkle to return to those eyes. That sparkle that I loved. The sparkle that I remembered.


The Angel.

I have always had a strange connection with Beaches. Of the multiple times i have been close to sea the last encounter almost had my life and I ended up being fished out of sea by a boat. This happened in Mahabalipuram – A small town in Tamil Nadu and is few hours drive from Madras. I will keep this story for some other day.

The City itself is spread across Few Sq. Kms and is very beautiful and completely situated by the sea. I Reached there Late Evening. It took me a while to settle down and finally find a place close enough to the beach to have was a walk.
The beach starts from a very narrow lane which is stone paved but the sea breeze makes it pleasant enough to be walked upon. It was spooky without any kind of natural light and the ghostly light coming from a distant lighthouse made it eerie. 

There She was, standing alone by a pulled up boat trying to jump on it to be able to sit. She was wearing pure white dress and the light being reflected off it was angelic. I approached stupidly thing of going and offering help. I managed a hello. She had a bottle of Budweiser with her and by the looks she was not interested in sharing it. After a long 5 min of silence she asked “kahan se ho” ; Chennai came a swift reply. Ok “mein bhi”.. You look beautiful was the second line i could say and staring badly at her. She jumped off the boat came a little closer and said thank you, let’s walk. The beer was juggling between us.It was a night without a Moon but the dim lights of Street lamps and the Candles from hawker made it bright. The sound of the Tides was soothing. We walked from one end to the other end of the beach at times holding hands barely talking. It was almost 3 in the night and decided to rest by a boat. We sat down our shoulders rubbing each other and dozing off.
We suddenly woke up with the first ray of the sun and looked at each other silently deciding to walk away. Neither of us exchanging names and happily deciding to live with the memory.

Au Revoir

A Perfect Date


There is a place in the southern extremity of India in the state of Tamil Nadu called Kanyakumari. An extremely popular tourist place notable for its historical and religious significance. The 3 seas viz. Bay of Bengal, Arabian sea and The Indian Ocean form a sangam there, and are famous for the colored sands.

According to Hindu legend, Kanya Devi, an avatar of Parvati, was to marry Siva, but as he failed to show up on his wedding day, the rice and other grains meant for the wedding feast remained uncooked and remain unused thereafter. As the legend goes, the uncooked grains turned into stones as time went by. Some believe that the small stones on the shore today, which look like rice, are indeed grains from the wedding that was never solemnized.

It was balmy, A Full Moon Day. The weather in the evening was gently pleasant, perfect time for us to take a stroll by the beach. The long absence of togetherness had sharpened the love between us , The present was trying to strengthen it. Of topics and reasons that are too vague to remember we choose to sit on the rocks and enjoy the sunset rather than trying the roaring sea. The silence was soothing and  the waves melodious. “Isn’t the sun looking perfectly red and round” – I said Yes.   On the Other side we could see the moon rising too. As if they were saying adieu to each other, The moon rose and the sun set at the same time. We were silent. The rays seemed friendly, illuminating everything in a way i had never seen before. It felt like the comforting warmth of a sweet embrace, stilling the heart, and causing the breath to hold for the slightest of moment. The kiss was perfect.

The Most important part, It wasn’t the place nor the sea nor the sun and the moon together that made it perfect. It was her.

An Unfinished Love Story


hobbes2 I still remember seeing her; First time after years on a railway station trying to jump out of a train.It was weird first time experience, I hadn’t really expected real butterflies inside but damn they were flying in all directions. I was catastrophically in love.

Six and a Half Years later… Thought I would never write…

A friend of mine asked me about someone; Someone I now Like, and strangely I was trying to deny myself the simple pleasure of saying true things – being in Love, People we care about and weirdly enough this memory popped up …

It’s funny how thoughts come up and how we remember things; Someone asking about love is usually a momentary conversation trying hard to drift away of the ill subject { “ill” – Jinki thek chalti hai unko yeh bukhar acha lagta hai, baakein to bus bimar hai. }. Its one thing to fall in love. It’s another to feel someone else fall in love with you and feel the responsibility towards that love. we were together for a very long time; It was her birthday in two day and i had no idea what to get send her as a present; She was far. The good part being that i could still surprise her – just by showing up. It was brilliant – her smile more beautiful than the stars. . I did show up. 🙂  “Love Takes time.. and a pinch of effort”

I wanted to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens, I’ll always think of you, and the time we spent together, as my happiest time. I’d do it all over again, if I had the choice. No regrets. You were the best Diamond that ever shone in my Life. The Love is trapped in the heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.

I do not know why; but somehow I remember you today. How the Hell can i ever stop writing about you ever..